Love me two-timers

“Men are like rivers: they often end up in several beds.”
“I am not jealous. Signed, sealed, delivered. To the city morgue.”
“Some girls like the tough guy. The problem is often he’s tough everywhere except for where he should be.”
“Love is a great drug: the problem is the side affects.”
“Both marriage and divorce can be a pain in the ass, but the latter is more limited over time.”
“If the first husband is a problem, the second one is a problem, and the third one too, then the mother-in-law is the mother of all problems.”
“My ex always told me I was exaggerating everything. He wasn’t exaggerating at all, not even where he needed to be.”

A collection of aphorisms about love: bitter truths that will make you smile

Dear boy,
you hurt me, but I don’t hate you. I love you despite everything, because when we met the only thing that mattered was the two of us: the two-timed and the two-timer.
I know that even if you look like a god, you are just a sucker, but I also know, as I wrote, that a sucker like me will never become a lesbian: she will always be attracted by the opposite sucker.
Since you helped me a lot lose my mind, I dedicate these “afoolisms” to you, wishing that one day you’ll be a little more grown, not only in terms of age.
I am looking forward to cheating from you,
Elisabeth

Do you want some more Brianna’s irony about sexuality? There’s a pig in all it’s for you.